Mitru Alexandru – Pacala and Tandala in the Church

Păcală and Tândală went around the world together for a good chunk of time. And, behold, one night, after they walked a long road full of potholes, when they were worn out with fatigue, they arrived at a village. In the village, the people had gone to bed. Not a single light shone in the windows.
– We arrived too late! Păcală stopped at the place.
— To upset someone at this hour would mean committing a great sin, Tândală gave his opinion.
— Do you know what I'm thinking? Let's sleep in the church.
— That's right. Well said. Certainly, there is no one there, now, in the middle of the night.
— We will rest in honor, on the mats in the church.
— And, early in the morning, we move on.
— But where will the church be here?
— Look at the top of the hill. Right next to the cemetery...
— Let's not wake the dead!
— Let's not wake people up, because they are tired of work.
And they went up, both of them, like shadows, up the hill. They arrived at the cemetery, continued their path among the graves, but when they stepped to the church, a thick voice rang out:
— Let's divide the golden coins into ten!
The voice was undoubtedly coming from within.
— Oh, what will you say, Păcală, what is going on? — Tândală whispers, surprised.
— I say that something very strange is happening here.
— Let's get closer and listen thoroughly.
They approaches, slowly, and in the hidden light of a torch, through the crack in the door, they see several men. One of them said:
— Why should we divide the gold into ten, if we are all nine?
— There are nine of us, that's right,- the one with the thick voice said, — but as the law is usually with us, robbers, the captain of the gang is entitled to not one, but two parts of the loot!
— A band of robbers! — Păcală whispers. — They committed a robbery and share their gold. However, the calculation at home does not quite match the one at the fair...
And he immediately taught Tândală what to do. There were some shrouds under a tent, they took two from there and wrapped themselves in them. Then, Tândală, with a hoarse voice, begins to say:
— Why did you, the dead, come out of the graves?
— Well, how can we not go out? — Păcală answered him, just as bluntly.- As long as we lived, were deprived of the good things of the world. And so we heard, a domestic spirit told us, that some robbers would be found in the church in possession of a sack of golden coins stolen from people...
— And what do you want? Some gold?
— Yes, we each want a coin. And we would like to have the nine thieves next to us in the graves, covered with living dust, so that they learn not to rob anyone.
The robbers in the church, when Tândală began to speak, hardened. But when they also heard Pacală said that they, the deceased, would like to bring the thieves next to them, in the graves, and bury them alive, they started shouting:
— It's done with us! Where should we run? And many of them rushed to the door behind which Tândală, at the exit, kicks them with his foot, to help them tumble down the slope more easily...
When they were the only ones left alone, Pacală and Tândală entered the church, laughing so much that they had to hold their stomachs with their hands.
False dead, they were full of living spirit.

Music by Sergey Kutanin.